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Loneliness in my Heart, Misfortune on my Mind, Doubt in my Soul

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October 22nd, 2013


10:25 pm - I'm Still Here
I know it's been ages since I really really posted it here, but def not gonna be one of those who vanish forever from this site, though sadly many I used to know on here have over the years, but despite my near-vanishment from here, I'll def be posting here. After all...next year I will have been on this site for a good 10 years. Sheesh lol.

Gonna write a few entries this week, especially since something exciting is happening this coming weekend and also in the coming weeks.

Gonna spend some time catching up with everyone though first, though sadly some may have left the site as well.

Stay coolz everyone =)

(2 Thoughts Noted | Smile Like You Mean It)

April 27th, 2013


10:38 pm - Song of the Day/Week
I've tried to talk about what's really wrong
I see that look of discontent
The volume starts to rise and then it's on
That's why I have to go
Dealing with the pain is all that's left
Because we can not get along
You wanna put the blame on me again
I think that we have reached the end

I can see through both of us
It's an issue over trust
You keep blaming me
blaming me for what you do to me

-Adema - Blame Me

(Smile Like You Mean It)

December 12th, 2012


03:13 am - 84 Hours
84 hours in one week...

...a whole new record.

Insane, huh?

*sigh* Sadly, while a real accomplishment was made...still missing something...just a feeling I used to have while working such long hours, how it will benefit myself AND others as well. I know it's a feeling that be missed for some time and hopefully I can look fwd to sometime elsewhere in the future.

Finally heading home from Jacksonville, FL though. Kinda enjoyed my time here with good company around me. Also got my hands one a lot of movies lol.

Stay coolz everyone.


Current Location: Jacksonville, FL
Current Music: Ed Sheeran - Lego House

(1 Made It Count | Smile Like You Mean It)

December 9th, 2012


02:45 am - Song Of The Day/Week
After a year and six months, it's no longer me that you want..."


A song I heard a number of times over and over shortly after it's release became one song sadly that's hit me as reality to an extent sometime later, bringing on the downfall of my last previous relationship.

While someone who meant a lot to me will say this song means a lot to her, it's meant a lot to me also, but wayyyy before she may have first heard it. I continue to witness more and more just how things will never get better and how things may be better off the way they are now being how someone just can't ever do anything she says she will/would do.

In the end it's hopeless, and I'm on my own again, as always.

This song is quite emotional and one of my favorites, even if it hits kinda deeply, like a heartbreak's light jab in the face.

"Your chance for a new life came, and you threw it away.
Your dream of that family you always wanted...abandoned
Why wish for things you could never handle, dream of things that were once true
Why ruin it all"

-Silence 8/12




Eminem - Space Bound


Current Location: Jacksonville, FL

(Smile Like You Mean It)

December 4th, 2012


09:41 am - Jacksonville II
Just realized that LJ has been changing a couple of things around this site. Dunno what that's about but fortunately there's a "switch to old version" button nearby. I'll look into that later...what kinda changes could happen anyway? New color to the POST button lol.

So, some weeks ago the idea of making a trip to Jacksonville, FL again was being bounced around here and there and turns out it happened. I had hints about this trip in early August, after we finished our project during that time and now we'll back again. Just one thing...we're moving a good 800 people. Yeah big number...and it's split into two and tonight may be prob one of the busiest nights I ever had.

Guess that record 21-hour work day may not last past tonight...guess I'll let everyone know tomorrow =P.

Besides that, so far so good here. Six co-workers of mine are here, including Gilbert. We'll also have some local help, quite a lot of it too. Curious about how this will work out, being several people in my dept including Gil really did not want to engage in this being the number of people being moved in one night. It just breaks ever record and even limits as well.

So, here are a few shots from the last two days. I'll be here until almost the middle of December:



One of my favorite little signs in the world...the Welcome sign at LaGuardia airport


Flying over the Pentagon in Washington, DC


Always loved Florida sundowns, whether from Jacksonville or Boca Raton


Current Location: Jacksonville, FL
Current Music: Parasite Eve OST - Out Of Phase

(Smile Like You Mean It)

November 30th, 2012


03:27 pm - Final Actions
A week before my ex-manager told the team the news he was going to no longer be manager come the end of October, I was surprised to see two emails informing that I have receive some rewards through this rewards program my company has. It's nothing too big but was surprising. It basically thanked me for efforts in the last FL project we did in August as well as other things. I did suspect something was weird, and later on...we got the news about his job. My former manager is no longer here as of the middle of Oct.

My co-worker Gil was checking out his balance from his checking account and noticed there was a sum deposited that he didn't recognize (thinking it was from his mom lol). I checked my account and saw a similar sum as well pending in my account. An idea went through our minds and we checked out our E-paystubs online and noticed the sums were there. After making a quick txt message, we were right. Seems like my manager gave us both the quarterly bonus shortly before he left.

In the end, we both were probably the only ones in the dept who never drove him nuts or complained about a lot (besides my once asking for a raise). We just did and still do our job. He always seemed happy with our work, even when we all grab a bite, like the last time we grabbed a bite with him at Red Lobster weeks ago. I guess it def showed, till the last day.

Def made my day, especially with the project that's starting this weekend. I'll blab some about that later.


Current Location: NYC

(Smile Like You Mean It)

November 28th, 2012


01:54 am - Japan 2013
So onto the good news I mentioned a few days ago.

I'm finally going to Japan!

I finally booked a flight in January to head out there for almost two weeks. A trip I've been dreaming of doing ever since I was a boy is finally happening. I already got some vacation time for that time, which is good since my vacation days are piling up and I need to use some of them before the end of Jan. Can't think of a better way than this for the time being =).

I was planning to make this trip two years ago, but I put it aside then. I actually got the fare at a pretty good rate, considering a roundtrip ticket can go $1500 and above...I paid hella less. Once I get there, I'll be the one whose been the farthest away from home on ANY trip than anyone in my family lol.

Some extra good news too is that one my co-workers has a son who lives there taking classes, and he's also planning to go around the same time I'll be there, so at least I'll have some company some of those days I'll be there too.

South Korea is also on my mind as well, though I haven't booked anything from Tokyo to Seoul yet (though it's not much, maybe $200). My sister Amy has had people "couch-surfing" at her place on occasion and one of them is a dude from South Korea. I picked up her apt keys from him this past weekend and walked him to the subway, so he told me if I go visit, I could crash there as well, so the trip def looking more appealing.

It's sad I won't be going with anyone but it is what it is. Somehow guessed I would do this one alone, but no matter, I'll def have a great time.


Current Location: NYC...looking 6700 miles away
Current Music: Super Street Fighter IV - Theme of Sakura

(1 Made It Count | Smile Like You Mean It)

November 26th, 2012


08:36 am - A Farm Grows In Brooklyn
Two Saturdays ago I ended up joining up with a group of volunteers from my bank to head to two (turned into three) locations around the city that were really hit by the storm. I actually almost didn't made it, since we all met up around 8am and I was working till around 12-1am the Friday before doing, of course, a move. Some good running and lucky subway ride got me there on time though. Originally I was going to the Rockaways part of my own borough, Queens, but the bus was full so I went to Brooklyn instead, to this little farm I never even knew existed.




The farm is actually a former parking lot that was hardly used and turned into a farm with soil being tossed on top some few feet deep. Sadly, it was drenched in a good 2-3 feet of water when the whole area was flooded. So we basically went there to do some labor, moving soil back, turning soil (since everything was turned into compost pretty much), and adding some compost, then flattening it out.



Yeah, that's an IKEA in the back lol. Def was labor intensive, but I was really glad to have done this. We were there till around 4pm and started heading back. The above picture does the place no justice, that's actually just one half of the farm lol.

Crops and whatnot grown here usually are donated and some also sold really cheap. The place houses after-school work projects and whatnot for teens as well. It's def a unique place and was really glad I could make a difference along with people from my bank who I haven't met before. This cool girl Amber, who ran the show here, still keeps in touch me.

Here's a silly shot of me just before wrapping it up:



Yeah, don't freak out by the lack of a jacket like some of the people there did lol. Remember, I used to live in Michigan =P


Current Location: Brooklyn, NY

(2 Thoughts Noted | Smile Like You Mean It)

12:11 am - Looking Back On Sandy
I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. I spent time at my sister's place with family and had a good meal there =)

To be honest, it's been a crazy month, especially after Hurricane Sandy hit NYC and knocked out power in the city, including the building I work in, which was close to also getting some flooding as well. Sheesh. Fortunately, I didn't lose power or had any flooding where I live, but as you may have seen in some pics I posted, sure did lose some tall trees here =/.

After what happened, my co-worker and I decided to head to work, knowing that they would probably need out help relocating some PCs to floors that were not running on generator power so some people could remote into them and possibly do some work. It's a good thing we did too, since we ended up working so long, we just stayed overnight. With hotels nearby having no power, we just crashed at my lab with dim lights everywhere.

Here are some pics you may not have see though during those days:

In front of my job's building on Wall St:





You can see the streets were totally dark in both directions. Power was restored over the weekend that followed, though the building was still not fully functional since steam was not restored, which made the insides of the building cold. We got by though fortunately and things began to return to normal towards the end of the following week.

Biking to and from work was an interesting thrill though, as well as biking over the 59th Street bridge into Manhattan. Biking in the darkness though (since downtown Manhattan was still blacked out) wasn't much of an adventure, with constant worry that I'll smash into someone.

I really feel a lot for my city, my hometown, and think a lot about the parts of the city that were really trashed: the Rockaways in Queens, and a section of Staten Island near the beach, just a mile from where Katrina used to live.

I recently did some volunteer work on a Saturday morning. I was going to go to the Rockaways area and help dig out sand from parks, but since there was a high high demand to help there and also in Staten Island, I ended up helping out in this nice community farm in Brooklyn. I know what you're thinking..."a farm in Brooklyn!?" I'll write more about that in the next entry. I also have some good exciting news for this coming year...least January...something I'm really looking fwd to.

For now, I'm off to bed. I also have a trip involving work coming up soon too. Yup...gonna think it's crazy, cuz it is.


Current Location: NYC

(1 Made It Count | Smile Like You Mean It)

November 3rd, 2012


03:01 pm - Song of the Day/Week
With the subway down this past week and buses being overcrowded, the only way I could travel to work and elsewhere was to bike.

And sheesh did I bike...almost 40 miles in the last 3-4 days, and twice over the 59th St. bridge. I'll blab more about that later though.

Several weeks ago I was browsing some video game music, and one soft music I liked was from a game called Chrono Cross, especially the violin and beach guitar sounds. I ended up running into a video of a young girl who was playing one or two of the songs from the game, and listened to some of her other stuff as well. Have to say...I'm totally impressed...electric violins and whatnot totally blow me away. She had a concert in NYC and Philly some weeks ago in September.

But it's also the today's style of dance she throws into that really makes the music physical as well. I thought I'd share this one song, since it has stronger emotional appeal to it, and one I listened to at work sometimes while crashing there in my lab this past week. Hotels with no hot water or power aren't useful to me.

Lindsey, when are you coming back to NYC?!

Here you go. I really recommend watching this in 720p or 1080p.

Lindsey Stirling - Elements


Current Location: NYC
Current Music: Lindsey Stirling - Elements

(Smile Like You Mean It)

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